Slain's Vampire Journal | Personal Entries

Slain's Journal

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3 entries this month

← Jun 2018

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22:23 Jul 18 2018
Times Read: 590

If you know, and understand what kicking someone while they are down is, tell me. I'd like to know. Would you describe me as someone who did that to you? Perhaps even enjoy it? Maybe I was cruel and unfair? I mistook your intention and jumped the gun?

Do you miss me? Have you, even once, found yourself thinking of me in any way? Do you smile at who I once was? Do you hate or dismiss who I am now? Did I change as dramatically as that? Was I the unforgiving being I made myself out to be? What I increasingly wonder is...

Did I tear you down, break your world down around you; did I kick you, while you were down?

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Helena... : )
08:44 Jul 09 2018
Times Read: 623

It's a strange feeling being on the receiving end of this. Very strange, because I was always made to feel that I was crossing a line I never should have dared to cross when I made how I felt be known. I was told, by a good friend, that I can talk to her. That she understands that my life is what it is and that she doesn't expect something excessive. But to talk to her. To message her and get back to her. To just not ignore her. I felt bad, but not because she made me, but because she was right. I can hit her up every so often, have a conversation with her, because she misses me. (Hard to believe, I know, me being missed*gasp*) My life is a pain, yes, but having people like her in my life is what makes it bearable. So, though I have sucked at keeping in contact with a few, them taking the time to tell me I could do better doesn't make me mad, especially if they approach me in a way that is easy too understand them, even if they are angry. They are allowed to be angry over something they don't like. Everyone is. Perhaps being in their shoes far too many fucking times and being made to feel like an absolute piece of garbage for ever having said anything has made me more sensitive and receptive to the sentiment. Even shitty people can teach us to be better in some way. So, I'm just thankful she felt my absence and gived enough of a damn to not let me slip away into estrangement. I'm not saying others should treat me like her... I'm just happy I can understand her point, and not be upset with her for being irked at my silence. And someone yelling at you to telling you they miss you... Isn't all that horrible when you just listen...

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21:20 Jul 01 2018
Times Read: 641

I'm still trying to get over the Cosmic Christ.

Space Jesus. Yes.

That floored me more than celebrating 4th of july on the 1st. Who knew you could celebrate your birthday multiple times in a year, since you know... you can be early just for the fuck of it.

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